Adorning: “What’s Really Attractive?”

“It’s my money and my clothes. I can wear what I want.” If you publicly criticized someone’s attire, it’s expected that you may be met with this response. I won’t disregard that everyone is entitled to their own preferences, nor will I say that trying to appeal to masses is worthwhile. Fashion and beauty are growing points of interest in our society, but I question, are these the lone tools that we should use to adorn ourselves? According to the Oxford Dictionary, to adorn is to “make [something] more beautiful or attractive”. Adorning eliminates the monotony and dullness of one’s appearance.

The purpose and use of adornment has been a longstanding debate amongst Christians and routinely, women are the primary subject. Popular speculation argues that men are generally “more reasonably” dressed than women, while others believe that men don’t desire enhanced beautification the way women do. The supposed validity of these sentiments aside, women are oft the center of the adornment conversation. Consequentially, women are the recipients of pointed “codes of conduct”. There are denominations that give women a meticulous list of rules to adhere to: no makeup, no jewelry, don’t wear pants, and always make sure your arms and legs are fully covered. Some churches even disallow the use of wigs, weaves, hair pieces or dyes; accepting only what is natural. These legalistic approaches to righteousness, in many ways, are not true indicators of a relationship with God and are just conformity to denominational prejudices and poor exegesis of scripture.

Conversely, I must admit, that there are moments when I am left aghast at what some women wear. Some might joke that we’re marketing for the famous chicken company, advertising breasts, legs and thighs. The time where privates were kept private feels far gone. Nowadays, those who have eyes to see can see it all for free. It’s almost as if the shorter the better and the more revealing, the more appealing. Our recent emancipation celebrations in the Caribbean are a prime instance of this. The explicit costumes draw attention to all the parts we once tried to keep covered. While it may only be a small percentage of women adapting this way of dressing, it is evident that this liberal and provocative style is escalating; and as it rises, respect, and chastity are declining. I cannot speak about adornment and only focus on what is worn externally. If I did, I would have missed the mark, by only addressing the symptoms and not the source.

Instead of subjecting your likeness to the standard of influencers and the fashion/beauty industry, I encourage you to take advice from scripture. 1^st Peter 3: 3-4 provides a transforming perspective of how we ought to consider adornment. “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in God’s sight”. These verses accurately denote what is important in the sight of God; what I consider missing from society. The writer of these verses is not condemning beauty, instead he defines true value, and outlines God’s measure of worth in comparison to human priorities.

Let’s say a law was passed that mandated women to be modestly attired. Though it would change the physicality of our society, it would not change our internalized standards. 1^st Peter 3:3-4 shifts our perspective to that which is internal and pleasing to God. True wellness is not just outward appearance. It’s about what we cannot see, that, which is not influenced by clothing, fancy jewelry, societal standards or money. It’s about living a life that is fully aligned with the moral and biblical standards of excellence and worth.

The fashion industry is a multi-billion-dollar industry. It portrays happy, glamourous and attractive models, but hidden under the makeup and smiles are hopeless, discontent, morally bankrupt people searching for true adornment. Today, many are adorned with the finest clothes and accessories, but their hearts yearn for greater, immaterial worth. To those yearning souls I say, an attractive life is not about what you tangibly have but who you are. Cultivating a meek and a quiet spirit in the sight of God is more valuable than any outward enhancement. Beauty trends are seasonal, but the value of a personal relationship with the Creator is eternal.

If you are yearning to be truly adorned, here are a few qualities that will keep your life filled with true, everlasting beauty:

1. Dress your heart with gentleness – Titus 3: 2 says “to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle and to show perfect courtesy toward all people”. To be gentle is to be compassionate and courteous, kind to others and free from all harshness. If we were all more gentle, wars would cease, families would live without strife and evil would be stripped of its power.

2. Wear love as your brand – “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6: 27-28 NIV). Instead of focusing on the brand of clothing you wear, adorn your life with love. When we love we forgive, we do not kill, harbor grudges or hurt others with our tongue. Our world is in desperate need of this love.

3. Make peace your guard. “Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all” (2^nd Thessalonians 3:16). Jesus is called ‘The Prince of Peace’ and it is through Him you find true peace. Having peace does not mean an absence of trouble, it means that even amid our difficult times, we can be calm and secured.

4. Wipe away bitterness, anger and wrath. “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking, be put away from you with all malice” (Ephesians 4: 31). If we remove these, gang violence, fractured households, civil unrest and world decadence would halt. By ridding our hearts of anger, bitterness and wrath, we can beautify our lives with forgiveness, compassion and joy.

We lavish ourselves with fashion, jewelry, cosmetics, and other adornments, but these have not made our souls or the world any more beautiful. We’ve fixated on what we look like and have neglected thinking about who we really are. Enough time has been spent focusing on our appearance. It’s time for us to remodel our hearts with qualities that are valuable in the sight of God. Only by adorning ourselves with these values, will we understand what’s really attractive.